One week; Sanctuary

It's been a week since I properly blogged here. I've been tumblr-ing, not blogspot-ing. I've been pretty busy la. Classes have officially started and this week I've just been going to classes and spending as much time as I can with the boyfriend because he's starting class next week, so we'll both be really busy and probably not see each other as much as we used to, especially since he'll be in a different building as me for classes. So yeah. But I have faith in our relationship :)

Anyways, this week was also the week that Amanda and I decided to surprise Davi and celebrate her birthday since she didn't celebrate her birthday. We tried hard okay, of course Davi ALWAYS knows. So yeah, the surprise didn't go too well, but hey, it's the thought that counts right? We had dinner at La La Chong, good food too. And then we headed to The Curve to Sanctuary. We had a blast. I was especially happy because the boyfriend came with and this i probably the first time we've been out together with my friends, and I'm pretty sure he enjoyed it.

There was only one bump through the night. Okay, two. After dinner, we all went separate ways to do what we had to do and then meet up at Sanctuary. Shaun drove with me and Solo in the car. And Shaun got lost, TWICE. Because he missed the turnings. It was funny at first, then it just got stressful! We literally passed by FOUR Malaysian landmarks! Batu Caves, Zoo Negara, Twin Towers and Dataran Merdeka. CRAZY shit man. But yeah, eventually we reached and had a good time. Shaun bought me a margarita because he stressed me out. Thanks Shaun :)

Boyfriend and I had plenty fun, dancing with each other. Davi and Manda, I am SORRY if we were too touchy-feely with each other! :) But hey, boyfriend had a good time with yous two. And we can't wait to go out again :)

I love you Davi and Manda!

10th May 2010
Friday.Saturday.Sunday

Friday

We had shit loads of fun with him and our friends :) We chilled in the house, with lots and lots of booze. Beers, Johnnie Walkers - three bottles, Tequila - too much of it!, Dewars. Ahhhh! An alcoholic's sweetest dream! Surprisingly, I was quite sober at the end of the night, or rather morning :) Will blog more later.

Saturday

Made my way home and went with Mum and Dad and Amachi to Kuala Selangor to see the monkeys on that hill place and then later to see the fireflies with the Datuk, Datin and their family. Nothing much to say cos I've been a thousand and seven times :P

Sunday

Mother's day was a busy day. We went to church. Then for Auntie Fay's baby's baptism. Then for the baptism lunch. Then for Datuk's book launch in MPH One Utama. Then the whole family went for Korean dinner near Soho. Then we went to Plus 8 for dessert. Then we went home and rested. Busy day indeed :)

Dear Sonia,

Good luck for your checkpoints! You'll do great! Love youuuu :) Do us all proud, but most of all do yourself proud!

xx Jo

Crazy weekend.

Thursday was fun. Watch It's complicated with him and friends. Then I made them come shopping with me while I looked for something purple to wear for Kelsey's party. But then I ended up buying something black and purple accessories. We saw bunnies there and I had to walkaway after carrying one cos I didn't want to get attached. Then I went home. It was a good day.


Was ill like crazy on friday. Like for the first time in my life, I literally spent the whole day sleeping. It was the most horrible feeling I've ever had. My body was hot and aching all over and all I could do to not think about it was sleep. But the my stupid cough kept waking me up and reminding me that I was in this much pain and all. I couldnt even go to church cos my body was aching all over and I didnt want to infect everyone in church. I slept at like 8pm that night. Such a weird first for me.


Saturday was another day spent just resting at home. Getting my energy back. And then we went for Kelsey's 21st. It was good to go though, it made me get my strength back and I didn't feel as sick as I did. It actually made me feel better.


Sunday! Easter :) We went to church and had lunch after like a good little family. Actually a big family, with like almost 20 of us. Then we went to my aunt's house and chilled out. I dont know why I decided to spend my time with the little kiddies and we painted eggs and they had some funny egg race thing among each other. Then we got bored and painted paper plates. Then we got bored and played Captain Clueless. Then we decided to be artistic again and we got out crayons and drawing block. Day well spent I think.


But I cant wait for Monday to spend a little bit of time with my boyfriend :)

Sunday

Today was a pretty busy day. We woke up and did the video shoot for PR. We had a pretty cool storyline thanks to Dad. He was a BIG help, especially in getting the car. Anyways, we woke up, did mum and Sonia's shoot. Then went to church where Sonia and I sat upstairs and Adrian came and joined us. I secretly think Adrian has a 'thing' for Sonia. But shhh. Don't tell either one of them I said that. :) Anyways, he was such a huge distraction from the sermon okay. He was so busy showing off his hair. It's like a bush. A big, fat hairy bush. I swear, I could probably hide a shoe in there. But somehow, even though it makes Adrian look slightly like a madman, it suits him strangely enough. And he kept talking about how he's been drinking a lot, and I told him he's going to die of indian liver. :D

Anyways, after church I babysat Sean and Sonia in Chitti's house til all the old people came back from the other service in church. Then we started recording more for the VNR for PR, we did that til evening. Then we went for dinner at guess where, of course, La La Chong. But it was a good dinner. Sonia and I were stuffed til the top.

Now I'm home and I'm in a good mood. :) Good day.

Note; Sugar pie honey bunch, you know that I love you! :)

Sleepoverrrr.

With Sonia. In Chitti's house :) . LATER.
But I'm sick. So hopefully Sonia doesnt mind a coughing cougher in the middle of the night.
Anyways, things with the big boyfie are alrightey. Kissed and made up, but not literally cos I havent seen him in two days. But we're okay. I told you, we'll pull through. We're stronger than everyone thinks.
Things with the family, not so great. Sister hasnt really been in the best of moods so she hasnt been nice to me. And trust me, I TRY. I TRY to be patient and to keep my mouth shut but there's only so much I can handle.
Even Zac has said before that he doesn't say things to me as in be rude or piss me off because he knows that I can be all jokey-jokey and laugh and put up with so much, but when I get pissed off my words can be sharp. Okay, so I'm paraphrasing what he said. But really, it's true. There's only so much I can put up with, there's only so long that I can keep my mouth shut about things. When I get pissed off, I really go all out. So yeah. :)

Dont piss me off la! Anyways, off to sleepover. Toodles!

Saving grace.

Things have been.. less than perfect. I'm not exactly down in the dumps, but I'm not exactly over the moon. In a way maybe that's a good thing. It's sort of a balance right? Things with the family are not SO bad. but they could be wayyy better. I guess in the end things will be okay. I'm starting to appreciate mum more though. Because through all this she's been the sane, reasonable one.

As for things with the friends, they're going good.. with some friends. I suddenly realized that there's is really no reason for me to give a frack about what they want to say. Because well, half of them do the things they say I do. I mean yeah sure, they and their boyfriends hangout with our friends and all. But don't they go off on their own with their boyfriends too? don't they display MORE PDA than i do? (well some of them anyway). So who's the hypocrite now? See, they impose their partners on us and that's okay with me, cos we get along and all that. But the point is they all make an effort. I know I made an effort to get to know my friends' partners. I never just ignored and shoved them aside.

Unfortunately, I cant say the same for them. I'm really disappointed in some of them because they haven't made the effort to at least talk to him a little. Davinia and Amanda are so far the only two who really have hung-out with him and me a little and who have conversations with him. The others don't seem to care. And so that's why I've stopped caring about whether they think I'm there or not. Because as far as I'm concerned, I haven't dumped any friends for my boyfriend. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still there a fraction of the time when I'm not in class or somewhere with him that I spend with my friends. Is it my fault that they are never there when I am? Or that I'd rather hangout with friends that make me feel appreciated€? And unlike my friends, I dont spend ALL my time with my boyfriend. And when there are those few days that he's around and we both have the same breaks, I want to spend my time with him. I dont see how that is so wrong.

Anyways, I'm not exactly bitching. I'm just trying to make a point.

Things with the boyfriend are great (: He still makes me feel so bloody special. He still cares about me. He's still there, supporting me. He's like my saving grace sometimes. When I'm feeling worse than better, he knows how to make me laugh and get my mind off things. His hugs still make me feel warm and safe. So yeah :) It's all good.

Note; Peanut butter.

Shit.

I had such a good day :)
Despite the screwed up family issues, I had a good day with him. Everyday with him is a good day. We argue and tease and bully each other, but at the end of the day he cares about me and loves me and treats me right.
Unlike the family, who avoid issues when they're upset with each other but still b**** and complain about the other person. Why la WHY :(

Sometimes, i hate my life. But then I remember the good things I have, like my friends and him :)

Papa don't preach part two.

As happy as I have been, the one person that doesnt seem happy for me at all. Dad. He really doesnt like the fact that I'm dating an african. He's been really different to me since he found out. He doesnt talk to me much anymore. Like when we're in the car, he usually has a lot to talk to me about, but now he just doesnt talk. Except to answer me when I'm trying to avoid the akward silence by asking questions.

And okay, I totally get that he's upset. Cos he's told me before to be careful about dating an african. And now that I AM datig one, i think he's feeling like i've totally disobeyed him and that i dont care about his advice. But i do care. If only he knew how much I've been thinking about it.

But it makes me wish that he trusted me more. He should know that I am smarter than that. That I am smarter than to be with someone who would hurt me in any way. Haish. I dont know what to do. I guess I'm just going to keep going like everything's okay, just be normal as possible.

Balance.

I am such a lazy bum right? I haven't blogged a long blog post in like forever. But i love that my new layout still makes me think the posts ARE long :D So I'm cheating a bit, but whatever. MY blog.

Anyways, life has been a blur and a rush lately. I know I havent been spending much time studying and all that so I totally am vowing to work on my assignments properly and to study hard so I do really well for my finals. I also havent been spending much time with my friends, I know this because everyone's been saying that I'm always missing and there's always stories that I wasn't there to laugh about. Like Pintoz and the Simba's father thing. So I promise I'm going to try.

I think what I mean is just that I'm going to try to balance my life more. I know that lately I've been spending most of my time with him, and it feels unfair to the friends and family. :)

So I'm going to try to be a better person now :)

Mama don't preach? :(

Dad told mum and I think she doesnt like it even more than dad. She wants to have a "chat" with me later, which I am absolutely dreading because she's probably going to give me a lecture. I dread these lectures. And I have a feeling the only thing I can do is sit and listen. 

I care about him so much, and I pray to God that they dont make me do anything like not date him. We care about each other too much now. I know he does, without a doubt. And I am happy. They won't make me give up someone that makes me so happy right? 

:(

Note; ♥

Shut up and drive.

I think I want to learn to drive ASAP. I'm going to sign up for driving school as soon as this semester is over. I'm sick of needing to depend on everyone else.

I need to show the parents that I'm responsible enough. It's so hard because sometimes I just want to go out at night and hangout with friends or well, you know. But because they're SO controlling and SO 'concerned' about my safety they call me every hour to find out what I'm doing and who I'm with. Like this week, it was only four days in a row that I was out. And three of those four days I was home well before 10 and I got nagging about going out all the time. Like hello? There are people my age who go out every other day and come home at 6am. I don't do that shit, so what's your beef?

They never did this with Steph. She lived away from home during these years of her life and could get up to whatever she wanted, they'll never know. So why am I under so many locks? My curfew is like 1 for Moses' sake. Who parties and comes home at one? I think eventually, it's going to be time to have the talk with the parents. They need to learn to let go.

That starts with me learning to drive. :) So roads, be prepared aye.

Zee

She's my favourite girl :)

My Perfect of Perfect Days :)

You know how sometimes, you just have a good day? Like a really GOOD day, like nothing bad happeed and everything went perfectly; well I had one of those days. And not even something happened that could have turned really bad ruined my day. It was just a good day. And I was happy the whole day, well except for that moment, but I was just happy, blissful, smiling. And that hasn't happened in a long time. I'm grateful, really.

It was a Saturday. The only shitty thing about it was the beginning, Statistics paper! ;o Biggest pain in the bum! But once I was over and done with it, I was happy (: We all went out at the same time and we were hanging around outside the lobby of Wisma, and I was talking to Simba for a bit. We decided to walk to main block and have lunch at Secret Recipe. But when we reached Secret Recipe stuppppid Simba didn't want to eat. So I ate a yummy lasagna. It was yummy. ;) 

Then I hung out with him and his friend James. That was fun too. (: I'm not giving you details, I'm not even going to tell you about the thing that happened that could have turned really bad, because I'm a tease like that. I know you want to know. But I'm still not telling, unless you ask nicely. In which case, I might tell you, privately. :) But basically, I kinda of used my what I learnt in Legal Studies class and it was a big help and made me so proud of myself :)

Then I met Dad, Rosh, Sonia, Jer and Nesh at Tropicana Mall and we watched movies. The girls watched Valentine's Day and the boys watched some other movie which I really want to watch now and want to drag him to watch with me. Anyways, Valentine's Day was SO nice. Yes, it was your typical love story where it ends happily ever after that is probably the biggest cliche in the world because we all know nothing ends with happily ever after right? (: But I was in an extra good mood that day so I didn't mind it. It left me in an extra lovely mood.

THEN! The highlight of my day happened. I bought a dress. The great thing about it? Is that it's a dress that I wanted a month ago that I didn't buy because mum said it made me look .. and I quote, "busty". Uhm. And that's bad.. why? ;) Kidding! But thennnnn. On Saturday, I went to Nichii and Sonia found it on the rack of clothes that I think they were about to put away. It was so perfect. I tried it on and though I wanted to buy a couple of tops that day, I spent all my money on that dress. But, it made me soooo happy! Like I couldnt stop smiling all day (: This dress is special okay. It makes me feel like sunshine. It's orange-ish yellow with purple and pink and it's just.. gorgeous. *sigh. 

Anyway! After our movie and shopping trip to Nichii, us girls while waiting for the boys to come out saw Simba and went to Toys R Us with him. I gave him a velvet flower but he didnt want it :( Stupid. haish. Then I saw a REALLY BIG teddy bear that also made me happy when I hugged it. Then Dad came out of his movie and met Simba. It was really funny, Simba didn't want me to hug him in front of Dad, but I did anyway and Simba blushed :P

Then Dad and I sent the kids home and went home. Then Steph picked me up and we had dinner with papa and I stayed over with him. I also shared a really big secret with Steph and Meet today. Okay so it's not really a big secret cos you all know, but it's still a secret. So that was nice. Spending time with papa and steph and meet and all. I just got back today and that's why I'm only blogging now :)

Anyways. I just had to tell you all about my almost perfect, perfect day because if I don't tell you people, who else will I tell right? Just so you people know, I am quite happy with my life lately. I've got great friends around me a lot, Davi, Manda, Simba and the rest of the gang, I've got all my family, I've got my health - well sort of, and I've got him there to listen to me rant about the silly things. Anyways, I've got to go study for PR now. I just dropped by good ol' bloggie here to share this story of my almost perfect, perfect day and some pictures with you (:

My favourite lion, Simba :)

We're the perfect match of crazy aint it?

(:

My favourite cousins who says I always take hungover-looking pictures of her 

I will always love you no matter how hungover you look (:

Shopping at Nichii, NO this is not the happy dress..

THIS is the happy dress! :)

Doesnt it make you feel happy?

I dont care, it makes me feel happy! :)

Note; She Flys Me Away 

 Used to be a Romeo til’ I found my Juliet 

Now I don’t rome no more, 

And all my love she gets.. 

She come from a different place, 

I come from the other side.. 

Even though we not the same.. 

That girl she changed my life, oh my Juliet. 

I finally found ya.. oh my Juliet. 

Family vs Friends ?

I think God just might have been trying to teach me a lesson about family. About how important they are. I think God was trying to make me realise that even if i have nothing else, but I have family, I will survive. And I'm beginning to believe it.

Everything that's happened though, is upsetting. I'm becoming paranoid for all of our safety. The details, are now irrelevant to anyone but us. But it's all just screwing with my head. And for some reason, not having my friends around me so much is helping me realise how much i just need to be on my own at this point. I don't want to talk to anyone about it, because I think that apart from one or two, no one needs to know. One or two people who I've been talking to about so many things because I feel like no one else needs to know.

But really, since I came back from Sarawak, I havent been so close to my friends and I feel.. well, i dont know just yet what I feel. I am thankful to one of two friends who have been there for me. But I don't think I have much to say about the others. In a way, I'm starting to realise how fickle some friends can be; how hard it is to trust some people with everything. A few months ago, I trusted a friend so much. But right now, at this moment, she is not the friend who knows even a gist of what's happening. She knows nothing and quite frankly I can't be bothered to tear her away from what obviously is most important to her. And I'm not being bitter, I just happen to have my life to deal with to care about. I really dont need this kind of stuff on my mind.

Sometimes, I want to sink away and just live my life, on my own, for myself. But I know that's not going to make anything better. So I'm just trying to chill and to stick it out, for my family. I do need some friends, the ones who have been there to support me. But if you're one of those friends who suddenly forget about the friend that was there when you needed a friend, then I wont bother trying to put you right. I was there when you needed me, and that's all that matters. I know I am a better person for not treating you like shit just because you're not there when i need a friend.

Siapa makan cili, dia terasa pedas.

It's as simple as that. At this point, I know who I can rely on and at the end of the day, even if they let me down, I've got family.To those people who have been there for me lately, thank you. It means the world knowing that you got my back.

xx J

And to Miss Davinia, you silly goose. Dont worry, I will have total control on Saturday =] 

December and January updates =]

I haven't been blogging properly lately. I know. I've had so much happening.

Since I came back from Miri, we got busy for Christmas and planning Mum's 50th which by the way went very well. Pictures are up on facebook, if not RIGHT now, then in a few hours. But anyway, since Christmas we've all been pretty much lazing with Ramesh Mama and the family. You have NO IDEA how cool it is to have them all back here and to hangout as a family again.

Christmas was good =] Although Sonia and I did feel slightly like we were the black lambs (not black sheep ;)) because everyone either ignored us or made fun of how we pose for pictures. lol. I know i uploaded some of these already but then this is meant to be a long post so what the heck. =]

Their Christmas tree makes up for the fact that we didnt have one at home.

Getting into the family spirit uh :P

Mother.

Dad.

The long lost childhood friend.

The itty bitty cousins

We spent most of the night taking stupid pictures like this..

.. and nice ones like this..

.. and silly ones like this :D

My sister, the one who calls ME and alcoholic.

But okay, so what if I am? :P Nothing wrong with enjoying my alcohol ;)

After Chrismas we were all still chilling at mama's place ; and going out with the family and just hanging out =] We went shopping and went to bar's with the family and all =]

At Jaya One.. I think =]

Mocktail

Margarita ;D

Old friends =]

Family.

The glass was empty. lol.

Childhood =]

Love and Life.

Planned mum's party too. =] The day that was mum's party was the same day that Suresh mama arrived, which made me extremely happy. I miss him loads when he's away and I feel like every few years when he comes back it's like a chance to get to know him again because I'm older and wiser in a way. SOME pictures from mum's party, look out for the facebook album, coming soon.

The theme was red and gold. :P Guess we're sorta rebels.

Gettin ready for a booze-fest :D

Everywhere, all the time.

Godsister ;)

Tryna get a lil bit tipppzzzyyy :P

We are family,

I got all my sisters and me ;)

HAHA :d

Evidently, we were happy ;)

The day after =]

The day after =]

Two days after mum's party we headed to Kelantan for a family holiday. We stayed in kampung style chalets called Pasir Belanda. Google it =] We had tons of fun, and it was good to be away with the family and to just bond. I think to a certain extent this trip and all the things we did brought us all closer as a family, even the friendly competition between families just strengthened our bond and understanding of each other. Some pictures hereee.

She found her inner kampung roots. ;)

The chalets =]

The treehouse

The family.

More of the family.

The brothers.

Even the adults found their inner children! :D

And we had old-school icecream.

and you get more pictures of US :D

Family

More family =]

More us :)

Trooping out to the marketplace.

We also had our first fight.

ok i lied. we didnt really.

We were just fooling around =]

=]

We also rowed boats! I did ok!

I'm not in this picture cos we went on the second round, and duh i couldnt take pictures WHILE rowing now could i? :)

Anyways, we got back from Kelantan on New Year's Eve and we were pretty much too tired to go out and party, so we went out for a family dinner and then welcomed the new year together. Then most of our time was pretty much spent in Ramesh mama's house. Believe it or not, i didnt actually go back to my own home from the 31st to like the 3rd or 4th :D Yes, Sonia and I spent a lot of time together. I think in a way it's to make up for all the lost time for when she was in Singapore.

Anyway, on New Year's Day we went to Rawang for a family lunch, yummy yummy crabs. And then we drove to Kuala Selangor to watch the fireflies at night. Before that we made a pit stop at some hill thingo and there were stupid monkeys and all. If you people remember right, I HATE monkeys. Dont ask why. Oh and on the way back from Kuala Selangor, Sonia and I rode in Uncle Ramon's car and EVERYONE knows what a fast driver he is. He races cars sometimes and over the years, he's had tons of different cars from porshe to the mini cooper to the bmw convertible he now owns which we rode it, with the top down haldway it was awesome shit! And I asked him to drift and he did! I got such a high from that ok! Everyone who knows me well enough knows I love fast cars =]

Anways, since new years everything else has been a blur, and not so much fun. Tok, is very ill. Tok was my mum and her siblings' nanny and as me and my sister and cousins were growing up, she was there at times to look after us. And as she got older, we looked after her. Her health deteriorated and her diabetes wasn't great. And we placed her in a home, but it was a good home where people actually looked after her unlike her own family and she was happy. Then her family took her to their place and pretty much abused her and all. And sent her back to the home in such a state. And apparently, she's had a stroke. Mum and the family went to visit her and she couldnt speak, nothing. So the took her to the hospital where the diagnosed that she's had a stroke and no one had done anything about it before. Apparently people at the home sent her to another hospital but they sent her home saying they could do nothing but let her die slowly.

And when we found her, she was almost dying. In fact, when we sent her to the hospital a few days ago, the doctors didn't think she would make it through that night. And we all went to see her and we all cried seeing her in the state she was. And we knew she could hear us when we spoke to her. We asked her to blink and she did, and she cried when we spoke. And we cried. But she has and now she's been admitted to hospital and being taken care of there. But then I went to see her today and I felt sad. She's had a stroke like Granny did before and she cant eat and breathe on her own. There are like tubes all over. =[ I feel like, I would rather God take her and for her to be at peace with the Lord or Allah or whomever, than for her to suffer here on earth. But I feel like God will decide the right time for her.

My new year fun has also been cramped because Suresh mama has left. He's gone to Bali and then he's going back to New Zealand. I feel like this time around, he and I really bonded and made a connection. I feel like were a lot alike in many ways. We think alike, and we both are sort of different from everyone else. And he saw a couple of the pictures I've taken and told me I'm a good photographer. And today when we dropped him and Uncle Philippe off at the airport, he gave me like a real hug, a really bearish bear hug and whispered to me "Keep taking all those photographs. And I'm really glad you came today. You're a special girl. Take care of yourself." I choked and I wanted to cry but I didnt want him to cry so I tried not to.

I miss him already, so much.