Saving grace.

Things have been.. less than perfect. I'm not exactly down in the dumps, but I'm not exactly over the moon. In a way maybe that's a good thing. It's sort of a balance right? Things with the family are not SO bad. but they could be wayyy better. I guess in the end things will be okay. I'm starting to appreciate mum more though. Because through all this she's been the sane, reasonable one.

As for things with the friends, they're going good.. with some friends. I suddenly realized that there's is really no reason for me to give a frack about what they want to say. Because well, half of them do the things they say I do. I mean yeah sure, they and their boyfriends hangout with our friends and all. But don't they go off on their own with their boyfriends too? don't they display MORE PDA than i do? (well some of them anyway). So who's the hypocrite now? See, they impose their partners on us and that's okay with me, cos we get along and all that. But the point is they all make an effort. I know I made an effort to get to know my friends' partners. I never just ignored and shoved them aside.

Unfortunately, I cant say the same for them. I'm really disappointed in some of them because they haven't made the effort to at least talk to him a little. Davinia and Amanda are so far the only two who really have hung-out with him and me a little and who have conversations with him. The others don't seem to care. And so that's why I've stopped caring about whether they think I'm there or not. Because as far as I'm concerned, I haven't dumped any friends for my boyfriend. As far as I'm concerned, I'm still there a fraction of the time when I'm not in class or somewhere with him that I spend with my friends. Is it my fault that they are never there when I am? Or that I'd rather hangout with friends that make me feel appreciated€? And unlike my friends, I dont spend ALL my time with my boyfriend. And when there are those few days that he's around and we both have the same breaks, I want to spend my time with him. I dont see how that is so wrong.

Anyways, I'm not exactly bitching. I'm just trying to make a point.

Things with the boyfriend are great (: He still makes me feel so bloody special. He still cares about me. He's still there, supporting me. He's like my saving grace sometimes. When I'm feeling worse than better, he knows how to make me laugh and get my mind off things. His hugs still make me feel warm and safe. So yeah :) It's all good.

Note; Peanut butter.