I hate goodbyes. Always have. Saying goodbye to someone you know will come back is easier, but still painful. But saying goodbye to someone you may never see again is the hardest, most painful thing to do.
Earlier this year I had to say goodbye to Henry. He's always been a great friend which made it that much harder. A few days before he left I saw him to give him a goodbye gift and I ended up crying for ages. And let's not even talk about saying goodbye at the airport. I told myself over and over again that I wouldn't cry, but I did.
And now you're leaving for good. In three years, we've been through so many ups and downs. It was an emotional roller coaster for me. I spent most of it upside down, but I've finally started setting myself straight. So I hope you understand that I can't bear to see you for a final goodbye.
All this time I've spent all my time trying to get away from this never ending attachment I've had to you. I've tried and failed. Only because I wanted to because the love I've had for you never left me. It's stayed with me all this time.
And now having to say goodbye? Knowing that I'll probably never see you again? Knowing that this is where our story ends? I can't. It would be too hard. And it would be cruel to put myself through that.
So I hope you understand. I may have to stop loving you, but I'll always remember you. I'll always remember the good times, the love, and even the pain because despite everything the pain taught me so much about myself, about us. I know time and distance with drift you away from me and eventually you will feel like just a memory.
I will cherish the last few moments I had with you. They're the most beautiful. Those were the moments that helped me realize that you truly do love me. I hope the best for you. Part of you will always be with me.
I will always cherish the memories and the love you gave me.
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