So slow, it's barely there.

How does a person cheat on someone they supposedly love? You know, I have never cheated. And I don't think I ever will, or ever could. Even if I were to end up somewhere thousands of miles away from the person I loved, I would never cheat. I get sick and disgusted by people who have. People who have cheated on me, and people who have cheated with me. You make me sick. I'm ashamed to call people like you my friends let alone anything more.

I had the shittest day. But, I found out some things today. And I'm glad, because now I have a rough idea of where I really stand with you, and you know what? I don't care to stay there. You dodged the simplest of questions and turned everything around and made it seem like the whole thing was my fault. But you know what. We're both at fault. Because all I did was respond to you because I wanted to make you happy. And right now I really couldnt care about your happiness, because I'm too busy worrying about mine. I wasn't the one who invited you to my place. I wasn't the one who instigated certain things. I wasn't the one leading you on to believe one thing but then change it to another. Fuck

But apparently, I'm the one who's ended up being hurt again. Say what you want, nothing changes. I still feel how I did about you before, but my opinion of you has changed. And the trust I had in you, is just deteriorating every time I think about today.

I don't care so much anymore. Hurt, yes I am. But I will get over this. I'm not the strongest person I've ever known, but I will pull through this. Just like I've gotten through everything in my life. I have a lot more going on for me in my life, than you. And today I realised, that getting into anything with you would have been a mistake. Because less than a month from now you're leaving and who knows if you'll ever come back. I dont care to put myself through something like that.

I don't know what we have anymore. Because you shut off and refuse to talk about it. But I'm fine with that. Because I'm learning so much from these mistakes I'm making. As much as guys deny it, you're pretty much almost all the same. and at some point in life, the only thing you're really looking for is a bit of fun. Argue with me if you want (especially if you're a guy, i don't blame you for getting defensive). Because I know for a fact, that there's always a time in a guy's life when he become's a "player" and a "stud" and all he wants to do is have fun with girls with no strings attached.

Let me tell you something misters, I am not that kind of girl. I am a one man kind of girl. And if you want to date me, you've got to make sure you're head is screwed on right and that you're player days are over. Because I don't care to put up with it. I put up with it once before, and no more. I'm not the girl you love and leave. I'm not the girl you have one night stands with. I'm the girl who'll give her all, if you make her yours. The girl that will do all she can to make sure you're never upset. The girl that takes care of you. The girl that lasts long term.

So make up your mind. If you really can't, I'll do it for you. You want to take it slow? I know why. But I'm okay with it. We'll go so slow, snail slow, that it's barely even there. So goodbye for now people, I am going to drown my sorrows and cheer myself up with the best remedy there is.

Note; You're going and gone. And I'm over it.

Note; Time to get wasted.