I've Got Sunshine

Guess what? :)
I have a new name.
Sunshine
:)

Nicknamed by a special someone that i have nicknamed Teddy.

:)

Life is gooood.

Let's put it all this way; apart from the shitloads of assignments due, and quizzes next week and presentations happening (Tomorrow btw! wish me luck!), life is pretty good.

For once, in a long long time, I'm actually happy.

And ok, that old fear,

and insecuritites that sometimes creep into the corners of my mind

(and sometimes make me feel like im dying),

its still there.

But im trying not to let it affect my whole life.

Anyways.

In the guy department,

There isn't really a single person yet.

There are options :) and choices.

But none proven to be worthy so far.

And ok,

i know i sound like some kind of high maintenance bitch who thinks hell of herself

and you may be thinking "who the fuck does this girl think she is saying none are WORTHY"

But here's the deal.

If you've thought that, then you obviously don't know me very well and you probably have no idea what things have been like for me and what kind of rubbish guys i've dated and been in relationships with. and you probably also dont know what happened with me and my last ex.

Hell, none of my best friends know, except Kavs.

So the thing is,

I'm tired of dating guys that seem to be nice at first and then turn out to be real shitheads.

I'm taking my time to get to know them.

Fact is after everything that happened with me and Roy, though i know i am over him, i still think there are some unresolved issues and feelings.

Sometimes, you just need closure, you know what i mean?

No.

Of course you don't. You wouldn't unless you're the kind of person i am and you KNOW that the guilt with haunt you forever.

What was my point earlier?

errr..

oh right,

I'm not being some "oh-she-thinks-she's-too-good-for-those-guys" kinda girl. I really am not. I'm just looking out for myself, which i think, for once in my life is something i need to do.

So don't judge me.

For one thing, you have no right.

...

For another, i dontgiveafuck.

So have a good day tomorrow everyone. and i hope that i've (like my namesake says) spread a little hope to you and reminded you of the sunshine we all need to shed light on life.

Note ; Gimme Hope Joanna? You've got all the hope you need in you. Believe.