First of all,

don't judge me.

You people out there who dont know me and are just getting to know me, DONT judge me.

You dont know who i am or what i've been through.
You don't know what kind of shit has happened to me.
You dont know how much it has hurt.
You dont know how much it still hurts.
You dont know how it feels inside.

So STOP judging me like you know me.


Second of all,

get a life.

To you people out there who have nothing better to do but to bitch about other people, grow up and get a life.

You can say all the things you wanna say about me, but honestly i dont care.
get it? i dont give a damned.
Cos here's the perspective of someone who is smarter than all of you (ME!) ; you're just a bunch of lame ass bums who are so bloody self-absorbed and need to get a hobby.
Your words, mean nothing to me. And if any of my friends are, in fact, my friends, then they really wouldnt give a damned about what you have to say. I'm sorry to say this but people like Ruban and the rest of you are fickle hypocrites. You say one thing and you're so strong on your stupid beliefs but really, you don't know what you're talking about.


Third of all,

i am alone.

To all you friends that have been there for me when i need you, i appreciate it.
To all you friends that try to understand me, it means
To all you friends that try to cheer me up when im upset, thank you for trying.

But this is just the way it is. I'm lonely. After everything that's happened to me in the past few months since josh and roy, things have changed me and my life and perspective. But it's also made me realise that as much as my friends are there for me when it hurts the most, when it comes down to the truth, the truth is, i am alone. I have to bear the pain alone, and I have to wonder about everything by myself.

But i'm not complaining. Cos its all slowly making me a stronger person. Maybe not now, not yet. But in the long-run, im sure it will. I already think I am better now than I used to be.

And for the record, I know that i'll always have God on my side, cos he loves me the most, compared to anyone else. So all the little people that make things hard for me in my life don't matter at all.

Note ; He is my saviour, He will pick me up from this hurt and move me to the top. And He will help me prove that I am a better person.

Parts of one of my favourite Christian Hymns ; So you would come. -[the parts in purple are my fav that touch me most]

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come