Three in the morning

Three in the morning and I just got home. Not from clubbing mind you, though I wish that was the case. I could have really just gotten sloshed tonight, it would have made me feel better than I do now which is just shitty. I swear sometimes all I want to do is sit and cry because I know the situation is out of my control because no matter what the person involved will not listen to me.

Anyway, I was with family and their friends. It was pretty.. interesting. All vegetarian dinner, even the "duck" and "chicken" were all made of like soy or whatever. It tasted different, but not bad. But I just didnt have much of an appetite after having that lil misunderstanding/argument with him.

Dont get it twisted, things between us are good. We have such wonderful moments when we're so happy and things are almost perfect. But I have so many issues with this whole situation. And what sucks is I can't talk to anyone about it because apart from me and him, only one other person knows about the situation and that person isnt really a good advice-giver. And I can't talk to my friends about it because they would probably get slightly judgemental of both me and him and then smack me in the head for being such a world class idiot.

So now what? Risk it all even though I know this probably will not end well? Or deal with it now before it carries on? I dont know. My head and my heart tell me two different things.

Note; Where do we go from here?