For the first time in a long time

I really wish I could tell my parents anything. Because I'm so tired of containing inside that I am seeing someone now who makes me extremely happy. And so he's black. Big deal. He still makes me happy. Dad sometimes makes these comments about them and I really don't like it. Sometimes I just think that he makes those comments because he thinks it will make me stay away from them or something, but I don't feel that way. I understand what some people dont. They're still people, after all. It doesnt matter what colour your skin is, as long as your heart is good.

So far, his heart is good. He makes me feel special, and when I ask him really random questions, his answers are usually right, or if there's no right answer to the question, he always gives me something to think about. He's patient with me. He takes care of me. He's been honest with me right from the very start which is something I really appreciate. He pays attention to me. He's proud to show me off to his friends. His hugs make me feel safe. And I can be honest with him, even about my insecurities. When I talk to him about them, he tells me whats up. He reassures me.

And it's so nice because we talk about things, sometimes about important deep things. Like today when we both agreed that calling someone 'The love of your life' is a really deep thing. He totally understood when I said I could only call someone that if I have in fact loved them my whole life and know I'm dying tomorrow.

For the first time in a long time, I AM happy.