Fear.

You know, I'm actually so happy that I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of losing everything that makes me happy.
Okay not really. Everything's going so well. Family's been great, things with friends are good. Things with him are better than that. Really, he makes me happy. He makes me feel appreciated and cared about. But the circumstances make me feel weird about it. I know that right now, he's here and that's what matters. That he's here and I'm here and no one else is in the equation but us while we're both here. But then, I'm the kind of person who is protective of her posessions. I don't like to share what shouldnt be shared. So what happens there, stays there. And what happens here, stays here.. right? I wish I knew how to understand this.

All I know is, Carpe Diem. Seize the day. And right now, my days are with him and his are with me, so nothing should bring me down. I knew what I was getting myself into. I know what I'm dealing with and what's at stake. When the time comes, I will obediently let go and cry my heart out. But somehow, I'll fall in love again.. right?

Note; I hope.