so people.

today is that day.

the day i longed for once upon a time.
and then the day i dreaded the most.
and then the day i realised doesnt really mean much to me anymore. [though this realisation only came like two hours ago]

the day josh and i hooked up last year.
04.04.2008

so today is like our... UNanniversary. lol

but you know what?
i dont feel so sad.

let me explain.

josh and i hooked up on this day, one year ago. and you know what? we lasted 8months, which is better than nothing i suppose.

and i think, that considering all the shit i went through cos of him, and considering how much i cried BECAUSE of him, its amazing we lasted that long.
and when it ended, most of you know, i was like a friggin zombie or whatever. cried like hell. depressed like hell. emo like hell. basically, i was in a state of HELL.
but you know what? i'm not anymore.
four months down the road, after we broke up (which btw was 2days before my friggin birthday aite) and i'm actually doing pretty great.
i mean, i got rid of all those two-faced fools whom i called "friends".. i made new friends. good friends who are awesome to me and who hopefully wont disappoint me as much.
[yes, i still blame arvin for being such a dumbfuck and gettin himself and his cronies involved. and yes i still hate that bitchfaced slut Sarah for being sucha backstabbing 'friend'.. but i am mature now and i can put these feelings aside and not give a fuck]

i let go of those feelings i had for josh and moved on.
and i met someone new.
someone i care about.
someone who cares about me.
someone who means something to me.

and the thing is, life for me, is pretty good right now. better than i thought it would be. so i'm not doing so bad.

so why am i blogging about this, you ask?
well, mostly cos im feeling nostalgic.
and cos i think what josh and i had was something. the good times were.. GOOD. so why think about the bad right? especially since its all over.
josh still cares about me. maybe deep down he still does love me.
i still care about him. though, not in the same way i used to.
we're friends now, if u want to call it that.
yes, we have some strained moments between us when we talk about what we had. but we'll get over it.

maybe someday, josh and i will have the same kind of relationship shyam and i have.
exes, but darned good friends.

In Loving Memory of the drama we had
R.I.P
04.04.08 - 28.11.08
"Today, you die in my heart.
Today, you are dead in my soul.
Today, you are forever lost in my mind."

I think maybe, i can proudly say, "Josh, i am over you".. and then walkaway.