I had fun last night with the fun bunch (we were nicknamed this last night). We were going to go Werner's in Changkat but then we ended up at this place called Spritz. Before that we went to a friend's birthday party at some apartment right up the road from Changkat and had some drinks and interesting conversations. That's when we were nicknamed the fun bunch Lol. And BTW, MILAN, North indian or south indian, black or white or brown, you're still freaking indian okay!
Anyway, after the apartment we went to Spritz where Kaminie's friends were celebrating someone else's birthday. Happy birthday Justin, thanks for last night, we had fun. There was drama, during our time there. It's mostly my fault, I had an issue and spent a lot of the time crying and TRUST ME, it was not the alcohol. Okay, maybe only partially. But I think this time, real emotions finally came out. I let out on my exboyfriend. I was really upset, and I know how much I felt my heart hurt last night. He was a sweetheart. He showed up at Changkat last night after I let out on him. I guess he was worried about me. I was touched, especially because I knew he had sprained his ankle. At first I was just crying in Milan's arms then I realised there was this guy next to me who just touched me and I was like WHO THE FUCK IS THIS GUY TOUCHING ME AND TRYING TO TALK TO ME? I was going to tell Milan to tell the guy to fuck off, and the I realised it was him and I literally jumped off my seat and hugged him and cried EVEN more. We talked so much, but then he had to leave and as I watched his back turn on me, I felt my heart hurt.
Last night reminded me of why I love my friends so much. Kaminie, I had so much fun with you and the rest of them. And I hope you know that I totally meant what I said when I told Remil that he better take care of you or I'll kill him. But I'm sure he will, he seems like a nice guy. Milan, thank you for being freaking over, but so much fun at the same time. Thank you for putting some sense into my head when you were talking to me about my ex. Most of all, Amanda, you are an angel. I can't believe you stood there talking to my ex and telling him off for what he's done to me. Thank you for being strict and telling me to bugger off when I was trying to listen to what you were saying to him. Thank you for the flowers that made me feel so much better, especially because I've never gotten flowers when I wanted them. I especially never felt like I deserved them. These friends are the best I've ever had and it means so much to me that through all my tears last night, these were the people who were with me and had my back and made me feel better.
I think last night was important. It's brought me to even just a bit of closure. I don't have much more to say about this. Everything is in my head right now and I'll need to sort these out for myself. The pain doesn't just go away like that. Maybe the tears will stop eventually. Til then, I'm going to let myself cry as much as I need to, and somewhere along the way maybe I'll be able to stop crying. <3
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