The person who cares less wins the relationship

Excuse me while I PUKE my heart out. This is reality, the inexorable reality where Malaysian drivers run over people for no veritable reason, naughty boys spit from the highest floor of a building, snatch thieves chop off your hand for that gold bracelet which turns out to be fake but since you were so ostentiously showing off he thought it was real so it's really your fault you don't have a hand now.

Yes, this is reality. And in this reality, there is no such thing as true love. True love is as non-existent as an honest man.

 - May Zhee

I love her. I only started reading her blog about a year ago, so today I decided to go back to her very first few posts and I read this. I find it amazing that at 16 or whatever age she was in 2006 she was already an accomplished author and that some of the things she blogs about  just make so much sense. She calls herself a "female chauvinist" but a "feeble and weak" one in her earlier posts. So much of it then was about her boyfriend whom she names 'Cookie' in all her posts, but if you read between the lines there's some message to her posts.

I still read her blog and I feel like even though she always seems to show off her tough exterior where she doesn't need a man to be loved and all that, occasionally you see a sign of her vulnerability and it's endearing. She gets a lot of hate in her blogpost comments, but she doesn't reply them. I like to think she has enough grace not to.

Truth is, I see a lot of young teenage girls in her and I feel like a lot of young girls can relate to her. Anyway, I read this post from 2006 on her blog titled Burn pathetic girls! Burn! Burn! Burn! and I liked it. An example of how a woman scorned by a man who doesn't pay enough attention to her even though she gave up so much for him suddenly decides "To hell with it, I can care less".

I believe that all women do this. The moment we feel like our partner doesn't care enough, we disassociate and decide that we can do it too. More often that not we fail, I think that's mostly because men know how to work their words around us. Their sweet words are venomous in truth but we don't see it until it's too late. When we do finally realise the lies and poison in their voices when they are spewing out their sweet words, we've already fallen into their pit of poison ivy and rattlesnakes.

I know this has happened to me. I have tried the "If you can care less, then watch me care even lesser" approach. Never succeeded, but I blame myself for being such a sucker to the men I care about and their dangerous mouths.

Curses the person who came up with the idea of "The person who cares less wins the relationship". Fuck that, I want someone who cares about me, someone who will go gaga and do everything they can to keep me happy. But of course, I have to feel the same way. As much as I cannot be with a person whom I love more than he loves me; I also cannot stand a person who loves me more than I love him. It has to be equal, and honestly, I really don't think that's asking for much. I think it's pretty reasonable to want that.

So anyway, kudos to May Zhee, my favourite blogger.