A car does not run on five wheels.

You are a stranger to me now. Once best friends, now just another person I see a lot. I can handle that. I may not always be as strong as I think I am, but this I can handle. I forget sometimes how easy it is not to care. But then I reach a point where I'm sick of the bullshit and pretending everything is okay when it's not. I'm sick of keeping quiet when I disagree and just laughing along with whatever stupid things people say when I really just want to tell them how bloody stupid they sound with those things coming out of their mouth.

I'm tired of being made to feel insignificant, especially when I know exactly who I am and what I am capable of. I'm tired of being an extra wheel. I'm tired of being left out. I'm tired of being the last one to be considered. I'm tired of pretending like I fit in, when I really just don't care if I do or not. I cannot be like you. I cannot be like them. I cannot be a walking clone of other people and I cannot be lead by other people because I am just not the type of person who will agree to everything you say. I am different. I am me.

Before this, I believed that I was being accepting, liberal, open-minded about people. I believed that it wasn't such a bad thing. But now? Now I see that I was fooling myself because I now know that I am not okay with it all. I am not okay with the things I thought I was okay with and if I've said or done anything to hurt you, I am sorry. But I cannot deal with this anymore. My pool of patience is drying up and there's not enough in it for all of you.

I will no longer allow myself to try to be part of all of you because I am tired of the effort, and it's just not who I am. I am not a person like you. I am not a person who's capable of a committed relationship for years and who can constantly talks about my boyfriends. I am not a person who can afford expensive lunches, I am not a person who always wants to laugh and smile. I am not a person who's beautiful and can be confident about how I look. That's just not me.

I am insecure about everything about the way I look. I'm not always in a good mood and sometimes I don't want to be in a good mood, sometimes, I just want to keep quiet and not talk about anything. Sometimes I am truly unhappy. I don't constantly talk about my boyfriends or even bring them up in conversations (unless I have to tell my friends about something someone did for me or to me) because I hate being that girl among all my friends. I don't want to become a person who's relationship becomes their life. You may not be that way, but I'm just saying.

I have not had long lasting committed relationships because I haven't found what I'm looking for and judging by my past mistakes, I'm pretty sure I can say that I know what I want and don't want. You have your relationships and you're happy about it, well good for you. Not everybody finds someone who treats them right or that their happy with so easily. And I'm not the type of person who can stay in a relationship where someone is not treating me right, unlike a lot of people out there. If the person I'm a relationship with hurts me a couple of times, I'm not going to just give up on him just like that. But if that person continuously hurts me and makes me cry and calls me names, then tell me why the hell would I stay with them? Unlike a lot of women that I know, I'm not so stupid to do that and neither am I strong enough to stay with someone like that.

I cannot handle the change in feelings I've had about you. It's painful and irritating and difficult and I cannot be bothered to put myself through it. People change and I understand that you have. I'm done, and I'm moving on. A car does not run on five wheels, the fifth wheel is just the spare. Maybe it's time you realised your fifth wheel has a puncture in it.

Done.