Maybe singledom for awhile is not such a bad idea.

Maybe it really isn't! I decided (since I don't have a life) to sit down and take into account all the guys I've dated or had a 'thing' with since 2008 and I realised, it's like a never ending motherfreaking flow of guys. And I have no idea where they keep coming from, it's like left right front and center. Literally from April of 2008 right up to now January 2011 I have not been completely single for more than three months. When I say completely single I mean not even a 'thing' with someone. Dating is definitely inevitable, you know going out on dates and flirting and all that. It's so stressful to even remember it, it took me half an hour to come up with the timeline. Now I'm going to post it here, but most of the guys will be named with aliases or my nicknames for them because there are certain things at stake.

Josh (April - November 2008)
Cookie Monster (December - February 2009)
Fractius (March - May 2009)
Cossais (May 2009)
Teddy Bear (June - July 2009)
Lenny (August 2009)
Michael Jordan (August - September 2009)
Chiku (October - November 2009)
*December 2009 - January 2010 I was on my own for this short period of time
Solo Chipili (February - September 2010)
Emmanuel (September - January 2011)

Phew! That's quite a list and the best part of it all, is that only 4 of those were relationships. Two which were my most serious and long lasting ones which still have a little mark on me to this day (Josh and Chips). I am appalled at myself. I want to dig a hole and bury myself. It's official, I am an idiot. I actually want to laugh.

But now I think to myself, like ohmigod. I've just been wearing myself out. One emotional mark after another, it's no wonder I've messed up myself so badly. I need a break man. I need to rejuvenate my emotional and mental self and I think it's time I started meditating in the word of the Lord to prepare myself for a better relationship and a better man in the future. I need to be prepared, I need to heal myself and fix all these cracks in me. It's hard though. I'm like a serial dater. But I will try. I will try to just learn to be happy on my own for a while. My heart needs a break I think.

Okay, goodnight lovers. Til the dawn of day brings us together again.