Scenario 1. He treats you badly. Stands you up on dates. Doesn't call you for days, weeks. Goes out partying and gets up to nonsense. Doesn't pay attention to you. Criticises you, and not in a creative, supportive way. Puts you down in public.
I've always had one rule which i have told Davinia before :
If ever any guy treats you like shit or makes you feel angry or upset or neglected or whatever u felt it's only forgivable if:
a) he's a really really really close friend who has been in your life for a long time and been there for the ups and down and shit and that you KNOW for sure that he cares about you and the fact that he apologizes for it or
b) he happens to be your lover that you've been with for some time and that you know well enough to know that he probably didn't mean it and he apologizes for whatever it is he's done. any guy whom you haven't known long enough and get confused about and hurt and upset by and that you're not sure is he's sincere or not and ESPECIALLY if he doesn't apologize, is not worth the shit. at the end of the day, no girl should allow a man to treat her like shit. even if it's someone she loves, or one of the two people a) and b) that i mentioned, she needs to stand up for herself and let the man know she's never going to let him treat her badly, ever again
Basically, don't let a man treat you like shit. No guy is worth your self esteem and confidence.
Scenario 2. You've been together for awhile, it was hot and heavy and passionate first, and now not so much. You barely communicate. Barely go on dates. Barely have any physical contact whatsoever, like not even holding hands.
If your relationship is just something that's fizzled out, like a fire that's reduced to a little glow, you can do one of two things, 1. work on it or 2. end it. If you try and try to fix it, and it keeps falling apart, just walkaway while you still have a shred of dignity left.
Scenario 3. He abuses you.
Whether it's physical, emotional or mental, abuse is still abuse. No one should even consider putting up with it. Get up and leave.
Scenario 4. He cheated.
Honestly, I've been in this position before and I know how hard it is to accept this fact. I always tell myself, I could never be with someone who's cheated on me. But then again, the situations are always complicated and you never know how you're gonna feel or what you're gonna do. It can be a shock. I think, sometimes people don't know how to react to this. Mostly because it makes us think a lot along the lines of "How could he do this to me?", "Am I not good enough for him?", "Doesn't she love me anymore?". And the thing is, we should never question this. If anything, a person who cheats is the one with issues. We should never put ourself down for someone else's mistake.
And honestly, I would tell my friends to leave someone who cheated on them. But if someone cheated on me? I don't know what I'd do. Trust me, I know this because I have been cheated on. The feeling wasn't great. If you were married with kids, it's not going to be so easy to leave a person. I know I wouldn't leave my husband so easily because I don't want my kids to grow up with confusions like I did.
At the end of the day we have to remember that temptation is everywhere. Anyone can cheat. As much as we may have absolutely strong principles, there is a possibility it may happen. I have never cheated on anyone. And I hope I never do because I always believe cheating is wrong. But, I understand that it's always possible, for anyone.
HOWEVER, cheating once, and cheating continuously are two completely different things. If someone's been cheating on you continuously for years, and you've known about it, the only thing I'd have to say is "What the fuck are you still doing with that person?" Everyone deserves better than a cheater.
Scenario 5. He dumped you for reasons that don't make sense to you, but you still love him
If you've been dumped but you still love the other person, and I know this is usually the most painful situation to deal with (hello, been there, done that), spend a few days to yourself. It's okay to be in a big bad funk. Sit in your room and blast emo songs, eat ice cream and chocolate continuously. Cry the fuck out of your heart and brains. But the maximum you are allowed to do this is about a week. As bad a break up as it may be, as long as your relationship did last, it's over and there's nothing you can do about it but move on with your life. There's that famous saying, "If you love something set it free, and if it comes back to you, it's yours forever."
Scenario 6. It's over, but he still wants to be friends.
This is possible for some people. But for a lot of people, it's not. If you've had too much history or it ended badly, being friends is going to be difficult. ESPECIALLY, if the person happens to be like your first love or something.
I understand this, because to this day, Josh and I can never be the same way we were before we starting dating and before we broke up. We talk or text sometimes, but we're not so much friends but exes now. It's not a nice feeling, but it happens.
But it's good to try to be friends with an ex. I am still friends with some of my exes, and it's nice. With some, it's better because we did the relationship thing, it didn't work out and we're okay with being friends. Sometimes things just work out for you. :)
Wanting you to be wanting me; No that ain't no way to be
How I feel; Read my lips because I'm so over it
No comments:
Post a Comment