Life Happens To All of Us

Sometimes I think about really random things. Today, I wondered if there is really such a thing as pure happiness, because if there is i think i might be lacking it slightly in my life. But that's what life is about isnt it? Seeking the things that bring us intense happiness? I can only remember few moments in my life where i actually remember that feeling of complete happiness. One of it, was when i got my SPM results.

I remember that feeling that day. I felt so blissful and I cried tears of joy nonstop. I remember thinking "This is what happy feels like. And I brought this on myself. I did this, with the help of some people along the way but this was mostly ME." I remember thinking, this is what happiness feels like; to accomplish something that makes you feel so good about yourself, and no one else can make you feel this way.

The thing is, that day was when i realised that what mum has said before is true. No one can MAKE you feel or do anything you dont want to. You control your own emotions. So that excuse, "he/she made me SO angry that i did .. bla bla bla.." that we all give from time to time is in fact so not valid. It's an excuse that should never work because like i said, you control our own emotions. So no one can MAKE you feel anything. Of course, i am indeed guilty of giving that excuse from time to time. But that's what life is about isn't it? Learning and striving to be better.

For a girl of only 18, I've made some mistakes in my life. Some i don't regret because they've made better things happen for me and brought out the best in me. But then, there are the mistakes i've made that changed a whole lot in my life, and at first, my first instinct was to blame the people around me that let me make hose mistakes. But then i realised, this is me. No one makes me do things i don't want to do, I do them myself. Like i said, i'm learning. I am a constant student of life just waiting to see what life brings to my table.
So i'm growing up, and i'm learning to take responsibility for my life and everything that happens in it. I am the star, the main actor in the story of my life. So it's probably time i stepped up and played the part. On the other hand, that doesnt mean I'm not allowed to regret the mistakes i made. I've already blogged about regrets in my other blog but for those of you who don't have permission to that blog :

Thursday, 27 August 2009
11.24AM
Regrets

You know how they say we should never regret every decision you made or anything you did or did not do?

I think that's bullshit.
We should be allowed to regret the mistakes we've made. Because i think at one time or another, some of us are forced to do things we dont really wanna do.
And yeah there's the whole, everything happens for a reason thing.
I think that's bullshit too.
I mean really, not EVERYTHING happens for a reason. Somethings just.. happen, for no reason. Like people cheating on each other? Nothing in this world could justify someone cheating on their partner. nothing.
oh well. shit happens.

I know there'sa big contradicion here. Cos i said that no one can make me feel what i dont want to feel or do what i dont want to do, but then i said that we are forced to do things we dont want to do. But the fact is, there are times when we are put in situations where we have no choice. Sometimes, you just can't help the shit that happens. Sometimes, when you're faced with a decision to make, circumstances people put in front of you make your decision for you and there's nothing else you can do.

You could say that i'm wrong. But I believe strongly that i'm not. I know what it feels like because I've been there.
Anyways, life happens to all of us and nothing can stop it. We can only make the most of it. :)