It's funny how you're the one who was an ignorant friend and when I turned my back on you because of it, I'M the bad guy here. You don't want to beg, and nobody does. Why else would I quit caring about you or our friendship? You can't deny someone repeatedly and then expect them to still try hard. If you don't want to do something, don't expect others to do it.
Girls are really good at pointing the finger at other people but they never realize what is pointing back at them. Don't call someone something when that's exactly what you are, and that's exactly what you've been. I should have known from the beginning that you were toxic from the way you treated your men. Hypocrite doesn't even begin to describe it. And yet you want to judge someone else for what you THINK happened. Get your facts straight.
Go ahead and say what you want to say about me but you're the one with the delusion that a man loves you when the reality says otherwise. Stop kidding yourself.
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Tuesday, February 5, 2013
Monday, February 4, 2013
The Ice-cream debacle.
So, tonight after dinner, Shaun was feeling a little down so we decided to go for dinner. We picked Amanda and headed to the BR in Bangsar. We were waiting in line to pay, with Shaun being first. The cashier asks Shaun if he's paying for all three or just for himself and he says for one. The stupid cashier bills him for three and he tries to correct her while looking at the board for the price and then he tells her that he said one.
The cashier then raises her voice and says that yeah she asked him just now even though clearly she didn't hear Shaun say just for one. The bitch was so rude and Shaun insists that he said one and Amanda and I are just standing there appalled that the stupid cow can be so rude and we snap back at her and tell her that she cannot be so rude because we are the customers and that is really no way to talk to customers. The woman has the gall to say "If you want, go ahead and report it to the GM because I already asked him".
SERIOUSLY?? How ignorant and stupid can you be? The point isn't whether you asked him how many you should bill him for, the point is that you shouldn't have raised your voice at him, especially since it's not that hard to just press "VOID" and get on with your damn job.
Amanda and I got so mad that we told her off and later went back in to get her name and the coward didn't even have the guts to come out and face us. Amanda and I made it clear to the other employees that we were going to report it.
Honestly, I've worked in the service industry. I've been a waitress as Skippy's and in all my time there, no matter how much I wanted to be rude to a customer or tell them off, I have never raised my voice and been so rude to a customer. Like really, if you cannot handle yourself and have proper manners to deal with customers, then don't bloody work in the service industry.
What pissed me off most of all about that dumb bitch raising her voice and yelling at Shaun is that it was his god damned birthday and he'd already had a bad day and this stupid bitch comes and yells at him like that. Who does she think she is?? Made me so bloody angry. I'm still angry thinking about it.
I'd think twice before going back there for ice-cream.
The cashier then raises her voice and says that yeah she asked him just now even though clearly she didn't hear Shaun say just for one. The bitch was so rude and Shaun insists that he said one and Amanda and I are just standing there appalled that the stupid cow can be so rude and we snap back at her and tell her that she cannot be so rude because we are the customers and that is really no way to talk to customers. The woman has the gall to say "If you want, go ahead and report it to the GM because I already asked him".
SERIOUSLY?? How ignorant and stupid can you be? The point isn't whether you asked him how many you should bill him for, the point is that you shouldn't have raised your voice at him, especially since it's not that hard to just press "VOID" and get on with your damn job.
Amanda and I got so mad that we told her off and later went back in to get her name and the coward didn't even have the guts to come out and face us. Amanda and I made it clear to the other employees that we were going to report it.
Honestly, I've worked in the service industry. I've been a waitress as Skippy's and in all my time there, no matter how much I wanted to be rude to a customer or tell them off, I have never raised my voice and been so rude to a customer. Like really, if you cannot handle yourself and have proper manners to deal with customers, then don't bloody work in the service industry.
What pissed me off most of all about that dumb bitch raising her voice and yelling at Shaun is that it was his god damned birthday and he'd already had a bad day and this stupid bitch comes and yells at him like that. Who does she think she is?? Made me so bloody angry. I'm still angry thinking about it.
I'd think twice before going back there for ice-cream.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Happy 21st Birthday Shaun!!
Dear Shaun,
Happy 21st birthday. It was a pretty good night with you and Amanda at Jake's and in Genting. I'd never stepped into a casino in my life before last night. It was fun watching you play roulette :) No matter that your birthday wasn't as great as you may have expected it to be, but we had a fabulous time and all you should be doing is remembering the good times. Let's both make the next yet a pretty damn awesome year.
Loads of love,
Jo
Happy 21st birthday. It was a pretty good night with you and Amanda at Jake's and in Genting. I'd never stepped into a casino in my life before last night. It was fun watching you play roulette :) No matter that your birthday wasn't as great as you may have expected it to be, but we had a fabulous time and all you should be doing is remembering the good times. Let's both make the next yet a pretty damn awesome year.
Loads of love,
Jo
Friday, February 1, 2013
A date with the past
You know you've grown up when you can meet with an ex and there's no tension or hard feelings whatsoever. I met up with Josh today. It was actually quite nice to see him. It's complicated to explain, but before a celebration at Kaarviin's house late last year, Josh and I weren't friends and we never spoke. Mostly because of his ex-girlfriend but probably also because it wasn't as easy as I thought it would be. But we talk now on and off on Facebook and we've hung out a few times with Kaarviin. Today was the first day that it was actually just me and him.
Surprisingly, it wasn't at all awkward. It felt comfortable and quite like it did back then, except it was different. I realise that it's a nice feeling to be able to be friends with him again. After all, he was my first real boyfriend and the first boy I ever fell in love with.
And while some people don't like to keep up with their past, I think that considering the fact that our break-up wasn't messy is what allows me to truly be okay with being friends again. I mean, it would be a totally different case if he had cheated on me or done worse, but he didn't. when I think about it, he was always sweet to me. I guess we were just unfortunate to have been in the situation we were in. But never mind that, bygones are bygones and we all know well enough that it's doesn't do to dwell in the past.
He's grown up a lot though. I realised that today. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, we've both grown up and we're both more mature than we used to be. Probably because of the experiences we've had to deal with over the past few years. But what I loved about spending time with him today was that things still felt the same. We could still laugh and make jokes with each other like we used to and ultimately, I can only be thankful for that.
I'm not a vengeful person or someone who holds a grudge. I usually end up forgiving a lot faster than I probably should sometimes and even though getting over Josh was one of the hardest things I've had to do when it comes to relationships, the fact that I got through it and today I can truly say that I forgive him for whatever happened between us, makes me realise how different I am now from back then. I'm just thankful. Hopefully, this time, our friendship lasts well into the future. Better friends than nothing.
Some friends, I won't mention names, may call me a hypocrite for being friends with an ex when I constantly tell them that they shouldn't do the same with their exes. Here's the thing though, I'm only friends with exes whom I've truly forgiven for whatever happened between us and when I'm at a point in my life where anything they do doesn't affect me. I don't get angry or hurt by some of the things that they might say or do anymore.
It's not always easy to be in this position because if you think about the big breaks I've had that took me forever to get over, those guys are the ones I'm still friends with and I'm only okay with being proper friends years after the actual break up. Josh and I are only now starting to be friends 4 and a half years after we broke up and Emmanuel and I are only now proper friends 2 years after breaking up.
I won't tell you it's easy because things like this are never easy. There are moments of weakness when you can't help but reminisce about the past, because at the end of the day if you really love someone, you never stop loving them, no matter who you're with or what you're doing in life. But at the end of the day, the fact that I once loved these men so very much is the very same reason that I can and do make an effort with my friendships with them. I'd rather be part of someone's life as a friend than be nothing at all.
I'll leave you with that in mind, but darlings, remember that nothing worthwhile is ever easy and nothing worth having comes without work.
Surprisingly, it wasn't at all awkward. It felt comfortable and quite like it did back then, except it was different. I realise that it's a nice feeling to be able to be friends with him again. After all, he was my first real boyfriend and the first boy I ever fell in love with.
And while some people don't like to keep up with their past, I think that considering the fact that our break-up wasn't messy is what allows me to truly be okay with being friends again. I mean, it would be a totally different case if he had cheated on me or done worse, but he didn't. when I think about it, he was always sweet to me. I guess we were just unfortunate to have been in the situation we were in. But never mind that, bygones are bygones and we all know well enough that it's doesn't do to dwell in the past.
He's grown up a lot though. I realised that today. I guess I shouldn't be surprised. I mean, we've both grown up and we're both more mature than we used to be. Probably because of the experiences we've had to deal with over the past few years. But what I loved about spending time with him today was that things still felt the same. We could still laugh and make jokes with each other like we used to and ultimately, I can only be thankful for that.
I'm not a vengeful person or someone who holds a grudge. I usually end up forgiving a lot faster than I probably should sometimes and even though getting over Josh was one of the hardest things I've had to do when it comes to relationships, the fact that I got through it and today I can truly say that I forgive him for whatever happened between us, makes me realise how different I am now from back then. I'm just thankful. Hopefully, this time, our friendship lasts well into the future. Better friends than nothing.
Some friends, I won't mention names, may call me a hypocrite for being friends with an ex when I constantly tell them that they shouldn't do the same with their exes. Here's the thing though, I'm only friends with exes whom I've truly forgiven for whatever happened between us and when I'm at a point in my life where anything they do doesn't affect me. I don't get angry or hurt by some of the things that they might say or do anymore.
It's not always easy to be in this position because if you think about the big breaks I've had that took me forever to get over, those guys are the ones I'm still friends with and I'm only okay with being proper friends years after the actual break up. Josh and I are only now starting to be friends 4 and a half years after we broke up and Emmanuel and I are only now proper friends 2 years after breaking up.
I won't tell you it's easy because things like this are never easy. There are moments of weakness when you can't help but reminisce about the past, because at the end of the day if you really love someone, you never stop loving them, no matter who you're with or what you're doing in life. But at the end of the day, the fact that I once loved these men so very much is the very same reason that I can and do make an effort with my friendships with them. I'd rather be part of someone's life as a friend than be nothing at all.
I'll leave you with that in mind, but darlings, remember that nothing worthwhile is ever easy and nothing worth having comes without work.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Serial Killers and all that.
Heyho. What a lovely Thursday spent in class. I got Ms Winnee again for this class. Forensic Psychology. So far, so good. Just getting a feel of serial killers and all that. For our assignments, we have to come up with our own serial killer, including crime scenes and victimology and a list of suspects. It'll be super fun but there's probably a danger of bringing out the murderer in a bunch of psychology students.
Personally I think Winnee will enjoy our assignments. It'll be like a little game for her to figure out who the murderers are. Either ways, it was a good class. I'm so ready to just head home and read and be lazy.
Laters, loves.
Personally I think Winnee will enjoy our assignments. It'll be like a little game for her to figure out who the murderers are. Either ways, it was a good class. I'm so ready to just head home and read and be lazy.
Laters, loves.
Brooke Davis: One of my favourite TV characters ever.
I could watch One Tree Hill over and over again, if not for the drama and incredible twists, but for the character of Brooke Davis. Why? Because she's a bitch and she knows it, but at the same time that's just a front for a person who is wounded so easily. Sound familiar? That's because a lot of girls can relate to her a lot more than the goodie-goodie Haley or the dark and creative Peyton.
I'm not the most eloquent speaker so I borrowed a few words from Shakespeare. 'Love is not one which alters when it alteration finds.' When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. I look at Nathan and Haley and somehow I feel safer. I don't know if I can explain that, but they give me hope. And, I'm afraid to say it out loud because maybe if life finds out it'll try to beat it out of them and that would be a shame. Because, we can all use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that every thing's going to be okay and that there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that. So, here's to Nathan and Haley, and here's to hope, and here's to a love that will not alter.
So your probably looking at this and making fun of my outfit, right? Anyway here's all you really need to know about today; if... you're fat, dumb, sexual and a guy, thats ok. If you're a girl, not so much. Please tell me thats changed in the future. And somebody please tell me you've got love figured out, because I've got news for you; its pretty darn messy right now. But I guess it has always been that way. Wanting to be loved, to find somebody that makes your heart ache in a good way...feel understood. So... if you're robots, or aliens, or something and your watching this right now and that feeling no longer exists; well, ...you missed it...and I feel sorry for you. Cause as far as I can tell, thats what its all about. And that's what I know it should be about.
Here's my philosophy on dating. Its important to have somebody that can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, y'know turns you on...And its really, really important that these three people don't know each other.
At the end of the day, you are who you are, and its probably who you've always been.
People always leave...but sometimes...they come back.
First your going to let go. Now we're going to sit, and you are going to cry on my shoulder for as long as you need too.
You're not sorry. But you should be. Do you know what my mother said to me when I said I wanted to start a company? She said your chances are one in a million. And I said maybe I'm that one, and she said you're not. And she was wrong. And whatever she thought she saw in me, was wrong. Because I am one in a million. And there is a child out there who has something so special inside of them but who's life is so miserable because they think that nobody wants them. And I could be a great mother to that child, no matter their age or race or sex. I could help them find what makes them special. And if you can't see that then you're wrong, just like my mother, so why don't you go ahead and write that down?
Damn it. Now I want to watch One Tree Hill all over again.
I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say there was no one else you could ever be with and that you would rather be alone then without me. I wanted the Lucas Scott from the beach that night telling the world that he's the one for me.
I'm not the most eloquent speaker so I borrowed a few words from Shakespeare. 'Love is not one which alters when it alteration finds.' When life gets hard, when things change, true love remains the same. I look at Nathan and Haley and somehow I feel safer. I don't know if I can explain that, but they give me hope. And, I'm afraid to say it out loud because maybe if life finds out it'll try to beat it out of them and that would be a shame. Because, we can all use a little hope sometimes, you know. That feeling that every thing's going to be okay and that there's going to be someone there to help make sure of that. So, here's to Nathan and Haley, and here's to hope, and here's to a love that will not alter.
Why does everybody lie? You know the bad guys lie to get in your bed... and the good guys lie to get in your heart.
So your probably looking at this and making fun of my outfit, right? Anyway here's all you really need to know about today; if... you're fat, dumb, sexual and a guy, thats ok. If you're a girl, not so much. Please tell me thats changed in the future. And somebody please tell me you've got love figured out, because I've got news for you; its pretty darn messy right now. But I guess it has always been that way. Wanting to be loved, to find somebody that makes your heart ache in a good way...feel understood. So... if you're robots, or aliens, or something and your watching this right now and that feeling no longer exists; well, ...you missed it...and I feel sorry for you. Cause as far as I can tell, thats what its all about. And that's what I know it should be about.
Here's a takehome box since your screwing my leftovers.
Here's my philosophy on dating. Its important to have somebody that can make you laugh, somebody you can trust, somebody that, y'know turns you on...And its really, really important that these three people don't know each other.
Sometime's people play hard to get to make sure that the other person's feelings are real.But I guess its always been that way-- wanting to be loved... to find someone that makes your heart ache in a good way.
You don't get to have me, not my body and sure as hell not my heart, we're done.
At the end of the day, you are who you are, and its probably who you've always been.
People always leave...but sometimes...they come back.
First your going to let go. Now we're going to sit, and you are going to cry on my shoulder for as long as you need too.
You're not sorry. But you should be. Do you know what my mother said to me when I said I wanted to start a company? She said your chances are one in a million. And I said maybe I'm that one, and she said you're not. And she was wrong. And whatever she thought she saw in me, was wrong. Because I am one in a million. And there is a child out there who has something so special inside of them but who's life is so miserable because they think that nobody wants them. And I could be a great mother to that child, no matter their age or race or sex. I could help them find what makes them special. And if you can't see that then you're wrong, just like my mother, so why don't you go ahead and write that down?
Damn it. Now I want to watch One Tree Hill all over again.
A real man.
A real man trusts his woman so he doesn't control her. A real man can he honest with a woman. A real man doesn't cheat on his woman. A real man doesn't use women. A real man is confident but not cocky. A real man knows his worth, but doesn't rub it in everyone's face. A real man doesn't need 400 dollar sweaters and a real man doesn't have to have a big expensive car. A real man doesn't need money and glamour for people to respect him. A real man doesn't constantly remind his girlfriend how lucky she is to have him because other girls out there want him. A real man doesn't even think about other women who want him. A real man doesn't think a woman is lucky to be with him, but that he is lucky to have her.
I posted that in December 2011. So young, but so wise. Lol.
x The Laughing Sinner
I posted that in December 2011. So young, but so wise. Lol.
x The Laughing Sinner
2012, the past.
I haven't done my review of the past year like I always do. So here goes nothing:
2012 was a mixture of pretty fanfuckingtastic and downright shit hole of a year. The good was really good, and the bad was really bad. But I guess at the end of the day, what matters is that I'm still standing, tall and strong.
Here's what happened:
I dyed my hair, like I said I would.
I got my second tattoo.
I got closer to my family.
I got closer to my friends.
I've had a bomb so far since the best friend, Nadine, has been back. We've been doing so much shit together, it's getting hard to keep up! But that's the best part about having her back.
2012 was a mixture of pretty fanfuckingtastic and downright shit hole of a year. The good was really good, and the bad was really bad. But I guess at the end of the day, what matters is that I'm still standing, tall and strong.
Here's what happened:
I dyed my hair, like I said I would.
I got my second tattoo.
I got closer to my family.
I got closer to my friends.
I've had a bomb so far since the best friend, Nadine, has been back. We've been doing so much shit together, it's getting hard to keep up! But that's the best part about having her back.
Just being a bad influence on her
BFFS <3 p="">
I said goodbye to some friends, but that's just for now. I plan on visiting Africa one day and I will see all my darlings again; Bangie, Angelo, and the rest!
A realisation: Three christmases in a row with my baby girl
New Years with Nadine
I said goodbye to some friends, but that's just for now. I plan on visiting Africa one day and I will see all my darlings again; Bangie, Angelo, and the rest!
My favourite boys <3 p="">
Partied way too much!
Bye bye Bangie
I went for someone else's prom.
Partied way too much!
Reggae, Changkat
Havana, Changkat
Vogue, Mont Kiara
HQ, PJ
69, Cyberjaya
HQ, PJ
Vogue, Mont Kiara
Reggae, Changkat
Vogue, Mont Kiara
Christmas party at Henry & Kassy's
Christmas party at Henry & Kassy's - With Henry <3 nbsp="" p="">
Christmas party at Henry & Kassy's - With Malamo & Muky
Christmas party at Henry & Kassy's - With Mwangie <3 nbsp="" p="">
I did things for charity. I spent time with kids in homes and helped organise donations and events to reap donations and gifts for the children.
The braces finally came off! I am no longer Miss-Metal Mouth!
I turned 21! Finally! After years and years of looking forward to it and it was every bit as fabulous as I expected it to be! a four-day celebration and then exhaustion kicked in while I was preparing for exams. But it was worth it. I couldn't have asked for a better 21st birthday.
I became a godmother to the most beautiful baby boy ever, Brayden Spencer D'cruz-Lippert, who is the most adorable little baby in the world.
Christmas party at Henry & Kassy's - With Malamo
I spent more time on myself.I did things for charity. I spent time with kids in homes and helped organise donations and events to reap donations and gifts for the children.
The braces finally came off! I am no longer Miss-Metal Mouth!
Hello Nerd with no braces.
Say what?
Midnight surprise from the girls at exactly 12:00am on the 30th.
Actual birthday with Paps.
21st birthday party!
High school sweethearts
College homies
The Zambian lovers
The one and only Henry being silly.
The Psych babes
With my darling godsister Rayenne just before the after-party.
My homies. At the party and the after-party in Changkat.
One week old and so damn tiny.
Two months <3 p="">
My little superman and 3 months. The cutest baby ever!
Taking my godbaby for a swim <3 p="">
I probably forgot a lot of things, but that was my 2012 :) Here's hoping that 2013 will be a million times better.
I probably forgot a lot of things, but that was my 2012 :) Here's hoping that 2013 will be a million times better.
Young, wild and free, bitches.
21 yaw. Finally after what feels like my teenage years squashed together into my very own little forever.
Adele's love life is my love life. Somewhat.
BTW this post was originally a draft from June 2012, but since I'm bored I decided to post it.
I'm listening to her 21 album over and over again and I somehow can relate to all of her songs. And most of them link back to one person. It's a little bit depressing. I remember when it just came out in 2011 and I had just gone through a painful breakup. I listened to the whole album nonstop and cried the entire time because some how it brought it all back to that one person
But, let's review, shall we? I won't bother explaining how each song relates to me. It just does. If you know me, you'll understand who, and if not, well then boo hoo.
1. Rolling in the deep.
This song is a very angry song. Basically, he's done her wrong and played with her heart and she's angry about it, obviously. She's also ready for revenge because he hurt her. But at the same time she's hurt because they could have been something amazing. She still carries the scars with her. But it doesn't matter so much anymore because she knows he will regret it. She was in a dark place for a long time but she's just ready to come out of it and she's angry instead. She sees him clearly now and she's ready to acknowledge what a shitty thing he did to her.
2. Rumor has it.
She's been strung along by a guy whom she has history with but who's now with someone else. But even though he's with someone else, he keeps coming back to Adele and making her his mistress. People know she's his mistress and she's angry about it because it makes her look bad. Even though she may have told him she loved him, maybe she didn't really mean it. And even though people are talking about how he's leaving his woman to be with her, in the end she turns the table because she doesn't want him anymore. She's with someone else.
3. Turning tables.
To me, this song is about a relationship where they keep fighting and he is always turning the story around on her making it seem like everything is her fault. But she's tired of it. She refuses to stay and keep being hurt. It's hard for her to leave, but it's something she has to do because the relationship is hurtful. But she's becoming stronger and she won't let it happen again with anyone else. She won't let herself keep being hurt.
4. Don't you remember.
Reminiscing about an old love, don't we all do this? Especially when we miss then and want them back. Basically this is it. They broke up so abruptly, and she misses him. She wants him to remember the good times they had together. This song basically is centered around "If you love someone, set them free and if they come back they're yours forever". But he hasn't come back, and she wishes he would come back to him.
5. Set fire to the rain.
She fell in love with him in a time when she was broken because he came and saved her, picked up the broken pieces of her heart. But she never really knew who he was. He lied to her and played games with her heart. He ended up hurting her but she couldn't help falling in love with him. She's angry and hurt at the same time, because she sees that it's over and that it won't work no matter how they work at it. Even now that they're over, she loves him and misses him. Breaking it off was hard because she's "letting it burn" because she's so angry, but it's "raining" from her tears.
6. He won't go.
Being in love with a troubled person. But it's hard to leave. She can't leave on her own. She doesn't think she can't forgive herself for giving up on him and leaving him. She can't leave also because she doesn't think he can survive it on his own and she wants to be there to support him. Yet she's confused as to what the relationship is. Is it love? He's a different person now, not the person she fell in love with.
7. Take it all.
It's about a guy leaving her. She gave him everything she had but she still questions if everything she did is enough because he still left anyway. He took her for granted. And he's taking parts of her that she gave to him and it's leaving her broken. She's disappointed because he's give up so easily. But she's really been trying to do everything for him, for their relationship. She's given up and she's telling him to just take everything with him as he leaves.
8. I'll be waiting.
She's done him wrong, but he drove her to it. But she still loves him and she wants him to love her back because they were so good together. She wants to do everything different when he's ready to love her again. She's saying she was young and the mistakes she made were just because she never saw things clearly.
9. One and only.
She's getting into a new relationship and she cares about him so much that she only wants him. But she's scared, she's been having doubts. But it's because she's been in this place before, she's been hurt so much that it's hard to let go of the past. But she's asking for a chance to be his one and only. They've both been hurt and they both need to get over their past, but they're both scared. But that's why she's daring him to love.
10. Lovesong.
Just like the title. It's a love song. She's in love with him and no matter where they are, how far apart they may be, she will always love him.
11. Someone like you.
She's talking to an ex who's already moved on and married and in love. But she's not completely over him yet. She just showed up to remind him of what they had. But she wishes him the best even though she doesn't want him to forget her because she sees how happy he is.
12. If it hadn't been for love.
She's in love with this guy but she find out he's cheated on her. So she tracks him down and kills him, justifying it and the fact that she ends up in jail all because it was for love.
13. Hiding my heart.
She met someone who blew her away and she fell completely in love with him because he took away her sorrow. She wishes they were still together because he's already left her. And because she loved him so much and he left her, she will spend the rest of her life hiding her heart away from everyone else.
14. I found a boy.
It's about an ex coming crawling back now that they see that she's moved on and is happy with someone else. But she's telling him he can go back to the hole he came from because she's so happy and in love with the person she's with now, more than she ever was with him.
I'm listening to her 21 album over and over again and I somehow can relate to all of her songs. And most of them link back to one person. It's a little bit depressing. I remember when it just came out in 2011 and I had just gone through a painful breakup. I listened to the whole album nonstop and cried the entire time because some how it brought it all back to that one person
But, let's review, shall we? I won't bother explaining how each song relates to me. It just does. If you know me, you'll understand who, and if not, well then boo hoo.
1. Rolling in the deep.
This song is a very angry song. Basically, he's done her wrong and played with her heart and she's angry about it, obviously. She's also ready for revenge because he hurt her. But at the same time she's hurt because they could have been something amazing. She still carries the scars with her. But it doesn't matter so much anymore because she knows he will regret it. She was in a dark place for a long time but she's just ready to come out of it and she's angry instead. She sees him clearly now and she's ready to acknowledge what a shitty thing he did to her.
2. Rumor has it.
She's been strung along by a guy whom she has history with but who's now with someone else. But even though he's with someone else, he keeps coming back to Adele and making her his mistress. People know she's his mistress and she's angry about it because it makes her look bad. Even though she may have told him she loved him, maybe she didn't really mean it. And even though people are talking about how he's leaving his woman to be with her, in the end she turns the table because she doesn't want him anymore. She's with someone else.
3. Turning tables.
To me, this song is about a relationship where they keep fighting and he is always turning the story around on her making it seem like everything is her fault. But she's tired of it. She refuses to stay and keep being hurt. It's hard for her to leave, but it's something she has to do because the relationship is hurtful. But she's becoming stronger and she won't let it happen again with anyone else. She won't let herself keep being hurt.
4. Don't you remember.
Reminiscing about an old love, don't we all do this? Especially when we miss then and want them back. Basically this is it. They broke up so abruptly, and she misses him. She wants him to remember the good times they had together. This song basically is centered around "If you love someone, set them free and if they come back they're yours forever". But he hasn't come back, and she wishes he would come back to him.
5. Set fire to the rain.
She fell in love with him in a time when she was broken because he came and saved her, picked up the broken pieces of her heart. But she never really knew who he was. He lied to her and played games with her heart. He ended up hurting her but she couldn't help falling in love with him. She's angry and hurt at the same time, because she sees that it's over and that it won't work no matter how they work at it. Even now that they're over, she loves him and misses him. Breaking it off was hard because she's "letting it burn" because she's so angry, but it's "raining" from her tears.
6. He won't go.
Being in love with a troubled person. But it's hard to leave. She can't leave on her own. She doesn't think she can't forgive herself for giving up on him and leaving him. She can't leave also because she doesn't think he can survive it on his own and she wants to be there to support him. Yet she's confused as to what the relationship is. Is it love? He's a different person now, not the person she fell in love with.
7. Take it all.
It's about a guy leaving her. She gave him everything she had but she still questions if everything she did is enough because he still left anyway. He took her for granted. And he's taking parts of her that she gave to him and it's leaving her broken. She's disappointed because he's give up so easily. But she's really been trying to do everything for him, for their relationship. She's given up and she's telling him to just take everything with him as he leaves.
8. I'll be waiting.
She's done him wrong, but he drove her to it. But she still loves him and she wants him to love her back because they were so good together. She wants to do everything different when he's ready to love her again. She's saying she was young and the mistakes she made were just because she never saw things clearly.
9. One and only.
She's getting into a new relationship and she cares about him so much that she only wants him. But she's scared, she's been having doubts. But it's because she's been in this place before, she's been hurt so much that it's hard to let go of the past. But she's asking for a chance to be his one and only. They've both been hurt and they both need to get over their past, but they're both scared. But that's why she's daring him to love.
10. Lovesong.
Just like the title. It's a love song. She's in love with him and no matter where they are, how far apart they may be, she will always love him.
11. Someone like you.
She's talking to an ex who's already moved on and married and in love. But she's not completely over him yet. She just showed up to remind him of what they had. But she wishes him the best even though she doesn't want him to forget her because she sees how happy he is.
12. If it hadn't been for love.
She's in love with this guy but she find out he's cheated on her. So she tracks him down and kills him, justifying it and the fact that she ends up in jail all because it was for love.
13. Hiding my heart.
She met someone who blew her away and she fell completely in love with him because he took away her sorrow. She wishes they were still together because he's already left her. And because she loved him so much and he left her, she will spend the rest of her life hiding her heart away from everyone else.
14. I found a boy.
It's about an ex coming crawling back now that they see that she's moved on and is happy with someone else. But she's telling him he can go back to the hole he came from because she's so happy and in love with the person she's with now, more than she ever was with him.
Back, and bad ass as ever..
Every so often I tend to do this. I promise I'll keep blogging and I go off without keeping that promise. It used to feel like I should be out living my life instead of writing it down, but then I realised, why not do both?
I miss writing and blogging about stuff. It's been so long. Life is different. Life has changed me. There are times where I'm the same person I used to be when I was a teenager, but then, every one if us has a dark side. It grows with time depending on how much you let it. I've let mine expand a lot. I don't mind it, I like having a dark side. But sometimes, it overwhelms me. Sometimes, it consumes me and spits me out and I'm left to myself and my thoughts.
I miss writing and blogging about stuff. It's been so long. Life is different. Life has changed me. There are times where I'm the same person I used to be when I was a teenager, but then, every one if us has a dark side. It grows with time depending on how much you let it. I've let mine expand a lot. I don't mind it, I like having a dark side. But sometimes, it overwhelms me. Sometimes, it consumes me and spits me out and I'm left to myself and my thoughts.
We stopped checking for monsters under our beds when we realised they were inside of us.
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Wednesday, April 4, 2012
I'm THAT girl.
Cliche as this sounds, I am sometimes an open book. Someone who's known me for four days, has been able to see right through me and my "tough girl" act. Apparently, I'm not as good an actress as I always thought I was. Yes, I'm THAT girl. The girl who puts up walls and puts on a tough exterior, but inside is soft and fragile. It's almost ridiculous.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Our deepest fear.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Better to be responsible for your own feelings..
It's hard, relationships. It's hard knowing just how much of yourself to give to the other person and just how much of them to take. Giving parts of yourself to someone, gives them power to hurt you. And taking parts of them, gives you power to hurt them.
Of course, no one really thinks about this kind of thing because, well, the point of getting in a relationship is letting yourself be vulnerable in hopes of finding real love, isn't it? Not about hurting someone else because if you're thinking about hurting them so early on in the relationship, you've already decided you're not giving the relationship a fighting chance.
People who have been hurt and used incessantly, you can't blame them for being twice as careful about anyone, whether it's giving parts of themselves or taking parts of someone else. I think one of the important things, among many other things to consider, is this: Do you really see a clear future with this person? Can you really? Because if you can't, you're wasting everyone's time continuing a relationship that may not have a future and in the long run, feelings will grow and people will be hurt. Best to let them go now than later on because it will hurt more then.
It's important to think about yourself, but never forget that you're not the only person in a relationship.
Of course, no one really thinks about this kind of thing because, well, the point of getting in a relationship is letting yourself be vulnerable in hopes of finding real love, isn't it? Not about hurting someone else because if you're thinking about hurting them so early on in the relationship, you've already decided you're not giving the relationship a fighting chance.
People who have been hurt and used incessantly, you can't blame them for being twice as careful about anyone, whether it's giving parts of themselves or taking parts of someone else. I think one of the important things, among many other things to consider, is this: Do you really see a clear future with this person? Can you really? Because if you can't, you're wasting everyone's time continuing a relationship that may not have a future and in the long run, feelings will grow and people will be hurt. Best to let them go now than later on because it will hurt more then.
It's important to think about yourself, but never forget that you're not the only person in a relationship.
Saturday, March 10, 2012
You know what would be really sad?
What would be really sad is if all the conspiracy theories about the US and Joseph Kony and Africa's oil were true. Because then, not only will the American Government be major assholes, they will have made one man with his own cause the world's enemy. But then again, if you think about it, if the conspiracy theories were true, Obama would be one of the most hated men for exploiting what happens to those children in Uganda to get to the resources of Africa.
Thus my conclusion here, is that I'm not necessarily in favour of any party's methods. I am for the children. The children who need us to fight for them and make their lives better.
Thus my conclusion here, is that I'm not necessarily in favour of any party's methods. I am for the children. The children who need us to fight for them and make their lives better.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Make a difference in your own backyard.
It pains me to realise how ignorant I have been all these years, especially with all this going on in my own country. But today I choose to make a difference and to start doing what I can to help. I've joined my university's Child Developmental Psychology club and I plan to be an active member as long as I am here. I am looking into UNICEF's efforts to see how I can help too. It's high time I did more to make a difference and to help other people. I have no excuse not to, especially because my life has been privileged.
Monday, March 5, 2012
Family is still family.
I know I've hurt you. I wish I could change this particular fact about my life, but I can only change myself. I can't change the people around me. They are, after all my family. They're my flesh and blood and no matter how much they piss me off, I can't turn my back on them. At the end of they day, they do get a say in my life and their approval matters to me. I'm sorry.
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